I guess if I had to be ‘pinned, ‘ you could partially box me in as an anti-capitalist, atheist Buddhist who has lived across the country from family and close friends for almost a decade. That being said, I have rarely joined in on popular US holiday festivities other than Halloween. Recently, a friend of mine asked, Aren’t you lonely?” I realized in that moment, looking at her with a perplexed face, I didn’t really understand the feeling tone of loneliness. However, I do notice questioning what it is that *I am feeling* because it’s *sure something* that arises during the stretch of Thanksgiving to Xmas. Perhaps I suddenly can feel I’m ‘doing life wrong’ because I’m sitting peacefully somewhere alone and enjoying my solitude. This dharma talk by Josh Korda really helped me sort out what that actual feeling was and how it’s imposed through social media and societal standards. I felt a huge relief listening to this, and I imagine it could benefit anyone who ‘does holidays differently’ or even navigates a wave of heaviness throughout the season: https://dharmapunxnyc.podbean.com/e/the-holidays-from-sometimes-just-surviving-to-thriving/

Shortly after the Josh talk, I started to really try to wrap my brain around ‘loneliness’. This Ajahn Brahm talk was SO AFFIRMING in his discussion of loneliness. In his playful way, he offers a brilliant reframe of loneliness to suggest that yes, some of us cherish and enjoy our solitary time. I’m so often reminded how much this culture does not support introverts by the pressure I feel from the external environment. In the new year, I’m looking forward to saying no more and allowing myself and my nervous system to settle, as I did in Beloved Altadena. Sharing these in case anyone else might benefit.